Computer Quotes

  • I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.(Isaac Asimov)
  • Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.(Isaac Asimov)
  • There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as 'nutty methods.' Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as a complete waste of time.(Scott Adams)
  • To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.(Robert Orben)
  • A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages.(Anon.)
  • All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.(Anon.)
  • Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.(Anon.)
  • The NeXT Computer The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.(Anon.)
  • If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.(Anon.)
  • Want to make your computer go really fast Throw it out a window.(Anon.)
  • Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.(Pablo Picasso)
  • The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little.(Porterfield)
  • The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.(Nathaniel Borenstein)
  • If we can dispel the delusion that learning about computers should be an activity of fiddling with array indexes and worrying whether X is an integer or a real number, we can begin to focus on programming as a source of ideas.(Harold Abelson)
  • Hardware the parts of a computer that can be kicked.(Jeff Pesis)
  • It seems to me the book has not just aesthetic values-- the charming little clothy box of the thing, the smell of the glue, even the print, which has its own beauty. But there's something about the sensation of ink on paper that is in some sense a thing, a phenomenon rather than an epiphenomenon. I can't break the association of electric trash with the computer screen. Words on the screen give the sense of being just another passing electronic wriggle.(John Updike)
  • Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.(Steve Wozniak)
  • Ferris I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign(Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
  • The computer is a moron.(Peter Drucker)
  • Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.(Doug Larson)
  • If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost 100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.(Robert X Cringely)
  • The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway.(Bernard Avishai)
  • The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs.(Joseph Weizenbaum)
  • A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about. (from Mostly Harmless)(Douglas Noel Adams)
  • The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.(Wernher Magnus Maximilian von Braun)

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