Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?
Answer: The days after marriage!
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Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…
After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,
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Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?
Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.
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Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.
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The most effective
way 2 remember
ur wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.
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Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
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Why Government do NOT
allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution,
you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE
for the same Mistake.
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Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
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Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
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True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.
Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.
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A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!
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Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?
A: He is given his last chance to
run away…!!
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A good marriage would be between
a Blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne
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He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom upwards!!!
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Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boy
an Art 4 a lover
an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
and a Matter of survival 4 a married man
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Shadi kernay aur mobile
kharidnay k baad aik hi baat
ka afsos hota hay kaash
thori dair aur ruk jaatay
to acha model mil jata.:p
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It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered
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“When a man holds a woman hands?”
When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense
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Man before Marriage is like Airtel….
“Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”
After Marriage He’s Like Hutch…
“Whereever U Go Our Network Follows.”
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What is Marriage?
Ans:
1 year:-Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha Na Jaye.
2 year:- KINETIC-Sab ki hawa Nikal de.
3 year:-CHLORMINT- DOBARA MAT PUCHNA…..
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One day a man inserted
an ‘advertisement’ in the
local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
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A little kid asks his Dad,
“Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?”
“No idea,” replied the Father,
“I’m still paying for it…”
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Grooms, once you marry,
please remember that when
you have a discussion
with your future wife,
always try to get the
last two words in: “Yes dear”
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