Misc SMS Jokes

• Difference between Problem , Talent and Kismat
  
  2 Boys love 1 Girl = PROBLEM!
  1 Boy love 2 Girls = TALENT!
  2 Girls love 1 Boy = KISMAT
• Khudkash bombar ne
  bomb ka button dabaya lekin
  dhamaka nahin huwa or wo behosh ho gaya.
  
  Jab hospital me hosh aya
  or Nurse ko dekha to bola,
  Baqi horain kahan hain ?
• Aik admi:is zindagi se tu mout achi
  
  Achanak aik farishta aya aur kaha
  tumhari jan lene ka hukum hua hai
  
  Admi: ye lo yahan per tu
  mazaq bhi nahin ker sakte!
• 1 bat bataon RAAZ ki,
  karo us larki se “AASHQI”,
  Jis k chehre pe ho “SAADGI”,
  Sanso mai ho “TAAZGI”,
  Chandni ho “CHAND ki,
  Rani ho “RAAT” ki,
  Khushbo ho “GULAB” ki,
  Batein kare “PYAR” ki,
  Nazuk ho “MIZAJ” ki,
  Achi ho “IKHLAQ” ki,
  Pabund ho “NAMAZ” ki,
  Khidmat kare “MAA,BAAP” ki,
  Or hamesha kahe!
  “MAIN HON SIRF AAP KI”
• kabhi kabhi ansu
  muskurahat se ziyadah
  special hote hain
  
  is liye k SMILE tu sab k liye hoti hai
  Magar ansu sirf un k liye hote hain
  jin ko hum Khona nahin chahte
• 1 molvi film actor k pas
  masjid ka chanda mangne gaya..
  
  Actor:ap log to kehte hain
  k hamara paisa haram hai
  
  Molvi:G, ap k paiso se
  ham “BATHROOM” banainge..:P
• Jab ap paida howay,
  Tab akash se phool barsay,
  Parion ne jashan kia,
  Farishton ne ghee k chiragh jalae,
  or bolay
  .
  .
  .
  .
  Hamari jan chuti
  Ab duniya walay bhugtain gay
• Khaksaar k dil-e-mohtareeq-o-dimagh-e-muntasher
  main ye khadsha-o-andesha mohtashi-o-moqaid hai,
  k kaheen biradar-e-muhtaram-o-izzat-e-maa-aab
  banda-e-ranjeeda-o-sanjeeda se khafa-o-naraz to nahi,
  k arsa-e-daraz se biradar-e-faatir-ul-aqal ne band-e-haqir-o-faqir
  ko koi SMS nahin kia hai…!!!
• 1 fine morning in the middle of the night,
  2 dead boys woke up to fight,
  
  Back to back they faced each other,
  Took out their swords & shot each other,
  
  One deaf pliceman heard the noise &
  Killed the 2 dead boys
  
  Beleive this lie, it’s really true,
  Ask the blind beggar, he saw it too.
• Aray hamain to apnon ne lota gheron mein kahan dum tha
  
  Meri haddy thi wahan tooti jahan hospital band tha,
  
  Mujhay jis ambolence mein dala uska petrol khatam tha,
  
  mujhay rakshay main is liye bithaya Q K is ka fare kum tha,
  
  Mujhey docter ne uthaya nurse main kahan daM tha,
  
  Mujhe jiS beD per litaya is k nichay bomb tha,
  
  Mujhey to bomb se uraya, goli main kahan dam tha
  
  or mujhe sarak per dafnaya Q K us din,Qabristan main
• Aamo ki khsuhbu,
  Barish ki bahar,
  Garmi ka mosam,
  aney ko tayar,
  Thori si masti,
  Thora sa payar,
  Load shading k liye,
  raho tayaar,
  
  “HAPPY SUMMER
  SEASON YAAR..!”
• Girl:aisa khat likh sajna,
  meri umar beet jaye parhtay parhtay.
  
  Boy: (i=0oi>xE’I1i+:
  e_y#a#>#”e!%;
  =*?#@?w@’e*,
  e(P+>i*
  (i;?/f’$&@,!=*=%)
• Positive-thinking poem:
  
  Little bird in the sky
  Droping shit into ur eye
  
  U don’t worry u don’t cry,
  U just thank God that,
  
  Cows do not fly
  
  Always b positive
• Explain the word “Automatically”
  ?
  ?
  ?
  ?
  ?
  ?
  ?
  nahin pata?
  
  OK ok I will explain
  
  agar koi ganji larki rakshay main
  baithi ho to us ko kehte hain
  “Auto_me_takli”
• 6 truths of life:-
  1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.
  2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it.
  3. The first truth is a lie.
  4. You’re smiling now, because you are an idiot.
  5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
  6. There’s still a stupid smile on your face.
• Grammar Teacher!
  Pappu larkion say bat nahin kerta hai,
  
  Batao is sentence mai pappu kia hai?
  
  Student:Sir, pappu ullu ka patha hai
• Mehil saji thi msgs ka tha daur,
  SMS maine kia tha kisi ne na kia GHOR,
  
  SMS mai paise lagey thay meray halal k,
  Or sab kanjoos keh rahay they 1 aur 1 aur
• 1 pathan ka sir phat gaya
  pathan se Dr. ne pocha:-
  “khan sahab kia howa ?”
  Khan:Hum pather se keel thok raha tha,
  hum ko 1 admi bola khan KHOPRI istimal kero:p
• Zindagi aik gift hay [QABOOL KIJYE]
  Zindagi ek ehsaas hai[MEHSOOS KIJYE]
  Zindagi ek dosti hai{dosti dijiye}
  Zindagi ek dard hai{BANT LIJYE}
  Zindagi ek MILAN hai {MUSKURA LIJIYE}
  Zindagi ek Judai hai {SABAR KIJIYE}
  Zindagi ek Aanso hai {PI LIJIYE}
  Zindagi akhir Zindagi hai
  
  {JEE LIJIYE}
• Is SMS main chand dhund ker dikhaeye!
  
  Aahaa!
  …………………………….
  SMS kerne walay ki
  tasvir thori na ati hay:p
• Tum apun ko itna SMS karta hai,
  Apun ko REPLY kerno ko majbor kerta hai,
  Kia is k peechay koi PLAN hai,
  Ya auron ki tarhan tum bhi apun ka FAN hai:p
• 20 saal pehle “Candle light Dinner”
  sirf ameer loag kar sakte thay
  magar ab pooray mulk ki
  awam ko ye sahulat mayassar hai.
  Farq to para hai.GEO Musharraf
• Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband
  k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete
  HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
  Wife: aisa kion?
  Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to
  usey jannat kehte hain
• Taj mahal dekh ker bola shah jahan ka pota,
  Apna bhi bank balance hota,
  Agar dada ashiq na hota…:p
• 1 makhi ganjay k sir per ja bethi,
  Dosri makhi nay kaha,
  “Wah kia ghar mila hai tujhey”
  
  Pehli makhi boli:
  “Kahan yaar, abhi to sirf plot kharida hai”