Christmas Downsizing

IMMEDIATE
DOWNSIZING MEASURES EMPLOYED

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have
elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern
about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring
decisions at the
North Pole.

Streamlining is due to the North Poles loss of dominance of this
seasons gift distribution business. Home shopping channels, the Internet, and mail order
catalogs have diminished Santas market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further
erosion of the profit picture.

The reindeer downsizing was made possible through
the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEOs annual trip. Improved productivity
from Dasher and Dancer--who will retrain at the Harvard Business
School--is
anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for
which the North Pole has received unfavorable press.

I am pleased to inform you
that Rudolphs role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North
Pole.